fantasy realms – The Wargaming Erratic

John over at just needs varnish shared his latest Ork which by all accounts was fortuitous – it was fortuitous for me as I restled with the lack of Orks or Orcs among my Danes, Germans, Austrians and Italians of the mid 19th century (there is another game in there somewhere I am sure………..)

So then I glanced at my cabinet – lucky enough to have a permanent display. And low and behold I saw some Orcs.

This neatly tied in with my recent trip to Barnsley and the Lord of the Rings event that runs till April 2024.

You will have to see the exhibition to enjoy its contents – its free and so is the first 3 hours parking in the centre of Barnsley 5 minutes away! Trains, buses, trams nearby as well.

Here are those pesky Orcs. They date from mid 1970’s in the days when White Dwarf editions were in their teens I seem to remember. I was absorbed by D&D for a few years then simply left the whole hobby thing altogether. The figures never got disposed of and lived in various boxes biding their time. They still are biding their time but have a sentimental place in my display cabinet.

The figures are forest orcs from Miniature Figurines.

Their purchase also coincided with my oil painting experiments, humbrol enamels being the standard painting method. These chaps have a mix, the green skin is in oils with yellow highlights while the mail and shields are in enamels complete with some dry brush. Oh and the spear wood was in gouache for some reason.

The Lord of the Rings Exhibition at Barnsley Museums Trust was an enjoyable step back in time – the event focuses on how every type of media shared and promoted the stories. Yes there are model orcs…… Some well thought out and detailed text compliments the various items on show. Of course the one ring is there but strangely unguarded………….hang on those pesky orcs have run off, I wonder where.

In part 1 we encountered 1940’s action between Americans and Russians on some unknown wargames table………………..

Osteen and Yashin briefly discussed the situation….. “who the hell are those guys Yashin?” “Lieutenant Osteen your guess is as good as mine – they appeared from nowhere and started shooting”……..

Just then a bloompf – “what the………..Drabowsky report!” Luis Drabowsky scrambled across to his Lieutenant, right now he could not get used to rubbing shoulders with these Rushkies: OK so they had fought the common enemy but now it was 1946 and a deteriorating stand off existed between the former allies.

Meanwhile Senior Lieutenant Gregori Yashin rushed over to one of his squads led by Sergei Petrov. “What was that? that noise Petrov?” “Senior Lieutenant the enemy have some sort of energy weapon – there was muzzle flash and then an unusual airburst – our men were dazed but that is all…..” Yashin nodded then ordered Petrov to organise the right flank with his new american comrades.

“We will make good communists of you Johncheeses yet” laughed Junior Sergeant Eduard Kachalin – Sergeant Wes Lefebvre was about to respond when fire erupted all along the line, “Kachalin, it looks like we will have to delay our discussion!”. The two men scuttled off to organise their squads.

The fighting was quick and one sided, the renewed allies withdrew from the edge of town as their new common enemy forged towards them.

As Osteen withdrew in the centre he met Kachalin, one of the good english speakers amongst the Russians………”Hey Kachalin where is Yashin?”, ” Kachalin between gasps “Lieutenant, he fell, they got him,,,,, he stood no chance” – Osteen – “damn, damn these monsters……..”

Captain Parker repeated his statement again “yes sir we have been attacked by a superior enemy – we have retreated from sector 6, repeat we have retreated from sector 6…………the russians? the russians are with us sir………….I can explain sir, no sir they fought with us, sir, sir……..”. “Yes Lieutenant Osteen is one of my best men – solid and dependable………..yes sir I know this hard to take………….no this is not, I repeat not a russian trick………”

“Damn it Barnes where is that link to Osteen?” Sergeant Barnes groaned – “nothing sir, nought, zilch……”

The noise of guns and other weapons invaded Captain Frank Parker’s mind – then he realised they were for real.

“Roseborough call up the jeeps we are moving, Barnes radio we are pulling back to sector Y zone 3A”

Just then a massive noise erupted near Parker/Roseborough and Barnes.

They rose dazed but uninjured. Nearby others were not so lucky.

Later in sector Y zone 3A Parker listened …..”so you see sir its an ASF situation with probably a RIM aspect……….”, “cut the crap Kouffax – give it to me in words……” Kouffax took a deep breath and continued ” Well sir it looks like an ASFI, I mean an Any Scale Figure incursion and involves Rogue Injection Moulded forces…..” meaning what exactly?” – Parker being now completed exhausted by the whole mess. Joe Kouffax took another breath, “well sir we have contacted OTO…” stop stop! “what/who is OTO” – Parker was exasperated. “well sir he is the One to One scale operator, we think there has been a WTMU, I mean a wargames table mix up”. Parker was lost for words as the line went dead………..

Barnes was incredulous “so Sir we were fighting the wrong forces? they were in the wrong place – sorta like a time travel event? and this OTO guy, he sorted it all out……….”

Parker gazed at the sky “…….Barnes……….yes, yes for gods sake if you like………anyway it is all SNAFU”. “Barnes get me Osteen on the line I want to know he got those new Russian friends off his back, that they are on their side of the line….”